


The Overdose

by GodsGirlxx13



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Cashton, Depression, M/M, Possibly Triggering, Suicide Attempt, attempted overdose, lashton friendship, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 14:01:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3122834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodsGirlxx13/pseuds/GodsGirlxx13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashton hadn't been doing well for a while now. His depression had returned. His boyfriend and best friends knew this but they never thought it would get this bad.....</p>
<p>this story is gifted to my best friend Danielle. She helped me think through characters and everything at 11:30 at night. Love you babes! ♥</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Overdose

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theyvegotthisspellonme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyvegotthisspellonme/gifts).



> PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS NOTE IN ITS ENTIRETY! This story may possibly be triggering for some. I urge you to read with caution. This story is based off of my own suicide attempt a few years ago. That night I saw the pits of Hell. I met Satan that night. That was the night I gave my life to God. I said to Him- "if You get me out of this I'll live for You." sure enough He did. I've kept that promise. So, this is my story from the eyes of Ashton in a sense. The only parts based off of my story are the suicide attempt and seeing Hell. the rest is made up for the sake of the story. I hope you enjoy this!

WARNING: this story contains graphic, detailed accounts of a personal experience. Caution is recommended when reading.

 

_This is goodbye_

_I’ll see you on the other side_

_Don’t cry for me_

_Just let me be_

_I’ve made up my mind_

_I’m sorry to leave you behind_

_I love you, goodbye._

_Ashton xx_

**_*Ashton’s POV*_ **

I sit the pen and notebook down on my bed. I’m home alone. I shouldn’t be home alone. I haven’t been okay for a while. I think the guys realized this, but I don’t think they knew it would go this far. I sigh and stand, walking to the bathroom. I open the cupboard and blindly grab bottle after bottle. I take the bottles of random drugs to the bed and drop them down. I creep down the stairs, grabbing a beer from the fridge. This ought to be the icing on the cake, right?

 

Upstairs I open each of the bottles, pouring a handful of the contents into my palm, swallowing them with a sip of the beer. I repeat this until everything starts to get fuzzy. I finish the last few sips of the alcohol. I grab my phone and send a simple “I Love You” to all the lads. I slip my phone into the waistband of my boxers and close my eyes.

 

Moments later, I hear someone talking. Fuck Calum was home. He can’t be here yet! I don’t want him to find me half dead. I just want to be gone that way I don’t have to watch him cry over my body. I get up and peek out the window. His car isn’t home- strange. Everything begins to spin quickly, my eyes get fuzzy, and I feel quite ill. I grab the comforter off of the bed and wrap myself in it. I hear the voices again. Who the hell is in my house? My knees give out. I’m wrapped in this blanket in the corner of the room, listening to the voices around me. I see someone walk across the room.

“GET OUT!” I scream.

Just then, a pair of glowing red eyes turn and look straight at me. A dark shape comes towards me, eyes glowing red, mouth open- laughing. I scream and suddenly, I’m floating. I look down and there is the pits of Hell. Fire burning, screams ringing out, pits of sulfur, and there, on a rocky ledge, the shadow I saw in my room. The same glowing red eyes. I get a better look at the person now. Horns, goat hooves, red eyes- Satan. I gasp and he looks up, laughing that deep, evil, demonic laugh.

“God?” I ask silently, “if You’re there and You get me out of this, I promise I’ll live my life for You. Everything I do will be for You.”

I close my eyes for only a second. When I open them again I’m back in the corner of my room, blanket wrapped around me, vomit surrounding me. I’m shivering and crying quietly.

 

“QUICK! UPSTAIRS!” I hear a voice. No… no…. he’s back. I don’t want to see him again, I don’t want to return to the pits of Hell!

Panic consumes me and I’m fighting to keep my eyes open. I see the door fly open, several shadowy bodies enter the room. My eyes slip closed.

 

**_*Calum’S POV*_ **

“FUCK!” Niall yells, grabbing the notebook.

“What?!” I ask, hurrying in next to him.

“I knew he wasn’t doing well but I thought… I didn’t think it would come to this!”

I grab the notebook and read it. We had gotten his text of I love you and immediately we all knew something wasn’t right. We sort of expected this but we were hoping and praying it wasn’t true.

“Calum!” it was Luke. I turn towards him.

“Yeah?” I ask, voice thick with tears.

“He’s over here!”

I run towards him.

“ASHTON!” I cry out.

“Don’t. Wait a minute Cal.” Luke said, turning his back to me. He gently checked Ashton’s pulse and checked to see if he was breathing.

“Go get me a basin of cold water and a flannel!” Luke said. Michael took off running. I stood there, chewing on my lip nervously. Luke rubs Ashton’s chest hard, calling his name. Mikey returned and sat the items next to Luke. Luke smiled in return and grabbed the flannel, dampening it. He rubbed Ashton’s face down, removing the vomit, before rinsing it in the basin and wringing it out. He then placed it just under Ashton’s jaw on the left side, again rubbing Ashton’s chest hard.

 

**_*Ashton’s POV*_ **

My eyes flutter open, is dark and really, really cold. There’s a shadow kneeling next to me. I scream and try to scoot back. I hit the wall. I cover my head, breathing quickly. Yes, I was panicking. I didn’t want the Devil touching me!

“ASHTON!” a voice calls out. Everything is getting fuzzy again. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Hey…. Ash, hey. Calm down, it’s just me.” The voice says.

“NO!” I cry out, “I’m not going with you! I don’t want to go to Hell!”

“Ash! Open your eyes! C’mon!”

I slowly open them, still shivering, still breathing quickly. I see Luke sitting there.

“L-L-Luke?” I croak out.

“Hey there,” he said with a small, sad smile, “how do you feel?”

“Not too good…” I reply.

“I’d imagine not. Do you think you can stand?”

I shrug, not really feeling like I could or wanted to move.

“Alright then, let’s try to get you up, yeah? Get you in bed?”

I nod and Luke takes the blanket from my shoulders, leaving me in just my boxers. I shiver hard, it was so cold. He hauls me up like I don’t weigh anything at all, supporting me from one side.

“D-diz-“ I say before everything goes black. When I open my eyes I’m on my bed. Its warmer now. I see my sweatpants are on me along with a t-shirt and several blankets. I sit up but lie down quickly, getting dizzy all over.

“Ash?” Hey, you okay?” Luke again.

“Y-yeah. I got dizzy.” I reply

“I figured that. Mikey and I got you dressed and in bed. Niall has Calum downstairs trying to keep him calm.”

“Shit… Cal…I –“

“Don’t Ash. We get it, yeah? We don’t blame you at all.”

I nod, pulling the blankets around me tighter.

“Ash?” Luke asked, placing a hand on my arm gently.

I look up at him, tiredly.

“You do realize that we’re going to have to… get you help… right?”

“NO!” I beg, “please… I want to stay here at home.”

“Ashton… you tried to kill yourself…. You need help….”

“You can help me. All of you…. Please?”

“Let’s make a deal, okay? We’ll go see your old therapist, see what she says, okay? If she says you can stay home and we can help you recover than we will. If not, we’re not going to stand in the way. We just want you better…. Or at least feeling better, okay?”

I sniffle, nodding.

“Good, for right now, we need to get some of that shit out of your belly. I’m gonna go get you some water, I want you to chug it, okay?”

I sigh, knowing I wasn’t going to win this. We’d been down this road once before…

Luke returns with two water bottles, two buckets- one empty one with a bit of water in it, a flannel, and Calum in tow.

“Cal!” I say, reaching towards him from where I was lying in bed.

“Ashy…” he said, immediately climbing on the bed and hugging me.

“I love you… I’m sooooo sorry!” I say, tucked into his side.

“It’s okay baby. I forgive you.” He said, kissing my curls.

“Alright, enough sappiness for right now.” Luke said. Calum sits up and smiles softly.

“I’m tired…” I said.

“You can sleep after this.” Luke said.

“After what?”

“You’re going to chug both those water bottles as fast as you can. Hopefully that will cause you to vomit.” I whimper- I didn’t like throwing up.

Luke and Calum gently sit me up, putting pillow behind me for support. I close my eyes for a moment before opening them. Luke is pouring a little powder packet into the water bottle before handing me the first one. I take it and sigh. I chug it as quickly as I can, almost choking twice. Before I’ve even swallowed the last sip of the first one, Luke’s pushing another one into my hand. I look up at him, silently begging for him to not make me do it. He laughs and shakes his head.

“Drink it Ashton. Or I will take you straight to the Emergency Room.”

 

I sigh and chug this as well. About half way through I hand it back to Luke- that feeling like you’re about to puke was beginning.

“Finish it.” Luke said.

I shake my head covering my mouth.

“Good. This is what we want to happen. You need to drink the rest of it, Ash. I know you feel like shit right now and you don’t think you can but you have too, okay?”

I feel tears prickling my vision as I quickly finish the rest of it. Not even 2 minutes after I finish the water, I’m covering my mouth. Luke quickly grabs the empty bucket and places it in front of me. I begin vomiting violently. After about 20 minutes of rounds of violent vomiting, I’m done. Luke smiles and takes the bucket.

Calum helps me to brush my teeth with the other bucket of water and the toothbrush and toothpaste Luke grabbed from my bathroom. Calum wipes my face and hands and neck off with the damp flannel.

“Go to sleep Ashton. Someone will be here with you when you wake up.” Luke said as he and Calum helped me to lay down.

“Stay with me?” I asked Calum.

“Of course babe.” He said, crawling under the covers with me. We cuddled together. I think I fell asleep instantly.

 

**_*Luke’s POV*_ **

I walk down the stairs. Liam, Louis, Zayn, and Harry had shown up. I guess Niall called them.

“Hey lads.” I said with a soft smile.

“Hey, how is he?” Liam asked worriedly.

“Resting. We got him to throw up most of whatever he took. Calum’s cuddling him right now. Anyways, we need to talk. He obviously overdosed in an attempt to end his life. Obviously his depressions and anxiety and self-doubting are back. We need to make sure he feels loved but not smother him, yeah? Also I’m calling his old therapist here in a few minutes to see if we can get him in tomorrow. I’m going to talk to her about not admitting him to a hospital but seeing if we can keep him at home and work with her for his recovery. Until we talk to her and see where his mental state it Ashton is not to be left alone for a moment. Yes, Mikey,” I said knowing the look on Mikey’s face, “I’m pretty much putting him on suicide watch. Any questions?”

No one responded other than a nod here or there.

“Right then, I’m gonna go make the call.” I said. I go to the kitchen, out the back door and break down in tears. Fuck that was too close for my liking. That was too close for a third time. I’ve been with Ashton every time he’s been suicidal and every time he’s attempted suicide. Just because I know how to handle him and what to do, doesn’t make it any easier. Once I regain my composure, I call his old therapist. She said she’ll take him at 11 am tomorrow. I think, yet again, we’ve narrowly escaped losing Ashton…

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you like this story comment and I MIGHT do a second part!
> 
> follow me on tumblr @tinkerbell-ashton - https://www.tumblr.com/blog/tinkerbell-ashton
> 
> follow me on twitter @5sos_1D_TMNT_92-   
> https://twitter.com/5SOS_1D_TMNT_92
> 
> follow me on Instagram @jesuslovinpunkrocker


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